Monday, January 31, 2022

The Answer I Needed

 On Saturday a lady came out to try Eeyore. She loved him. The plan is for him to head to her place Saturday. It’s only 40 minutes away and I have an open door invitation to come whenever, plus it’s a lease not a sale but still I found myself crying that night when I did evening chores. It feels like I’m letting him down, giving up on him, casting him away because he wasn’t good enough when really he is a good boy in his own way. It’s that face. I am really going to miss that face coming up to me in the pasture. 

Of course it was telling that I tried to get out of riding him for her and then only did the absolute minimum before handing the reins over. I enjoyed watching her ride him immensely though. 

This face. Always the same happy hour lucky look.

I spent the rest of Saturday night in a heart broken funk. Sunday morning, even though it was only 30 degrees F out with nasty wind, I loaded Hamilton up to hit the trails for some therapy. This was his second solo ride, the weather was nasty and he hasn’t been worked in a couple weeks, but I needed to see if I’m broken or not. If I’m correct in finding Eeyore a new situation or if I’ll never enjoy any horse so I might as well dig in with the one I have.

Hamilton gave me the answer I was seeking. The trails are currently being torn up for maintenance, the wind was blowing icy cold, we saw two deer crossing the trail, passed several hiking groups, and snuck by a fishing bot all without batting an eye. 

I always get compliments about our matching hats when I’m on trail. I love it. 

We walked. We trotted. We cantered. I found myself smiling the entire time. I sang out loud and laughed when he pinned his ears back. When we hit my favorite section of trail I egged him into a short gallop. I’ve never egged a horse into a gallop. Not since I was a kid at least. 

The 6 miles flew by. Not one single time did I get nervous or fearful. Not one single time did I wish the ride was over. It was exactly what I needed.

The world is just right when I with Hamilton

Yea I can ride. Yes I can enjoy it. No I’m not broken. It’s amazing what finding the right horse can do for you. I’m still sad about Eeyore, but I feel more at peace with it. I’ll miss his face. I’ll miss seeing him every day. I’ll miss him. But I won’t miss the angst every time I thought about riding. I won’t miss the arguments with Hubby about why I haven’t ridden in yet another month. I won’t miss fighting with Eeyore to be something he can never be. I don’t think he will miss me either. We will see and since I still own him if this doesn’t work I can bring him home and try again.


6 comments:

  1. Doing the right thing is hard. When I sold my first horse I felt horrible. Even though it was the right thing to do and even though he was fine. The nice part was the girl who bought him kept in touch and he's still part of her barn (retired) and thriving. I think he's about 29 now!

    You did the right thing but the right thing is not always easy. ((hugs))

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    1. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the idea. It helps that he will be close by and if I ever want to I can both see him and show up to a show he is at to be his cheerleader.

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  2. Yeah for type #1 fun! PS Hamilton looks great 😊 !

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    1. Hamilton is starting to border on a bit chunky these days, but hopefully with increased work that will go away quickly.

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  3. If it is any consolation, IMHO, it is far sadder to watch two incompatible beings struggle, with neither side being completely fulfilled. Much joy can be found watching two beings connect. Sometimes it is just not the right match, and it is a good thing to let go, even thought it's hard. I'm glad you found Type 1 fun with Hamilton.

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    1. You are right. When a more assertive, bold rider is on Eeyore I can tell he is having a much better time than when I or someone who rides like me is on him. Its still sad though as I love having him around. Hopefully he finds this new place suitable and can go have adventures then come back to me for retirement down the line.

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